We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
I just want to tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We’ve known each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching but
You’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it
And if you ask me how I’m feeling
Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see…
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I push the fork into the back of my hand, happy for the pain and for the tiny pinpricks of blood. Somehow, it makes the screams lighter, fading them into the background of the cafeteria. It would’ve been so easy to leave with him, it’d been what I wanted, but instead, I am here. I put up with Cassie Goodman’s bullshit and now she’s dead. And so is he.
My boyfriend is dead.
I let go of the fork and hear it clatter as it hits the ground. The screams are bright and loud again like buzzing hornets in my head. They echo around the school’s cafeteria, the anguish of the injured, the moans of the dying. There are new sounds now. Shouts of men in uniforms, the acrid smell of metal and death.
There isn’t a choice anymore.
I pick up the gun from the cafeteria table. It still has his blood on it, but somehow that gives me the comfort I need. For a moment, I can see Dylan’s face from our last night together, the look of calm easing his features one last time. He told me he loved me then when he came inside of me.
I love him, too. Forever.
“Never gonna give you up,” I whisper to no one.
I place it in my mouth and pull the trigger.
* * *